Would it be nice to have a guy who would come into your life so unexpectedly?
You would try to deny his existence, you try to stay away.
Yet, no matter what you do, you always end up thinking of him, talking about him, and finally adoring him.
You had your plans, firm, and strong. You had your priorities too.
But since you met him, you unconsciously drop all you have including your friends and even your family.
You've come to know him as someone whom you have never had the same feelings with. So you know, he must be someone special.
After a while of getting to know him, you fall for him... and you fall hard.
You succumb to the free flow with brakes unused, again, unconsciously thrown.
You learn to lie, you learn to gamble your principles, you learn to lower your standards, you learn to compromise, you learn to swallow your pride.
For you know, in order to keep him, you must become what he wants, what he needs.
You transform yourself into someone you're not. Though not completely but somehow you have lost track.
Unaware of the changes, you immerse yourself into what you call love without noticing the warning signs.
Even if you have noticed, you wouldn't mind.
So you love him, and he loves you.
You faced trials, issues, and all. You were almost at your breaking point, you wanted to give up but instead he comes to you with feelings so strong that you could only hug it tight and succumb to it again. You tell yourself this will pass. This will change. This will be the last.
But the scenario repeats itself. It drives you crazy thinking what you did wrong. You come to realize your mistakes and eventually you learn from them. You give it another shot, trying so hard to correct the errors.
But new problems arise and you are again tested. You get mad, you get crazy. You act as if you're losing it. You retreat because you feel that it's too much. In your own quite space, you take a look at yourself. You begin to compare who you were before to what you are now.
You recall all the things that you used to do for yourself. You write, you read, you run, you sing, you daydream, you cook, you spend time with family. But then, you think of him. You think of all his promises, you think of his sweet words, you think of his sorries, you think of his reasons, you think of him. Mighty and as independent as you were before, you are no longer you right now. You try so hard to keep the fight to a fight. But once you hear his voice, you end up running to his arms again.
With another chance, you give it a go. You have left some part of you behind to move on to something new. New work, new place, but he was still there. You encounter changes. Changes that have started to bug you. You gain weight, you lose your self-discipline, you lose your strength, you lose your cool. You become stressed out. You blame yourself, and you start doubting yourself. You look to him for guidance but instead you find him occupied. You needed his comfort but his out with his friends. You have personal problems you want to talk with him but he's busy with his thing and you don't want him to lose his concentration. You gave up everything for him. You stopped your world so that he can build his. And yet as time passes by, you noticed that his world has gone so big. So big that you don't already fit in.
With all the changes coming to your end, you encounter emotional problems again. Think of yourself as useless, ugly, fat, and uninteresting. You start to lose it again. You both fight. Each fight consists of days without talking. With each fight the days become longer, and longer, and longer...
You start to get confused. You start to have doubts. You start to question yourself. Then your thoughts go back to when you made the decision of staying. What if you have taken the other choice. What if you have grabbed that opportunity, what if you ended things right away before you even got so addicted? Would it have resulted to another thing? Would you be happier if you have chosen a different path? Would you have made it if you were on your own as you were before? Would you have survived the long nights without his scent, or his kisses, or his tight embrace? If that time would have been now, would you be able to make it on your own?
Would you be happier, would you be empty, would you be sorry?
Would it be nice to have someone come into your life in an unexpected manner. You get introduced, you get to know each others flaws, strengths, and weaknesses. You fall in love and you fall hard. Whenever you are sad, sick, or just feeling blue, he comes to your aid even without you dropping clues. He knows what you need, he knows what's best for you. He takes care of you and he loves your family just as much as you love them. You argue but he never ends the day without talking about it with you. He doesn't believe in pride. He catches you every time you fall. He kisses your forehead when you are feeling low. He lifts you up when you start to get weak when you face challenges. He supports you in whatever you do so long as you are happy. He never criticizes your body, your weight, your hair, and how you dress up because he loves you the way you are. He protects you and he acknowledges your principles. He's willing to do everything for you. Rain or shine, he picks you up from work even if he gets soaked and even if his ride just got washed up, he doesn't care as long as he sees you and he is with you. He brings you food whenever he knows you are too busy to cook or too busy to eat at work. He knows that you are strong, and he admires how you make decisions on your own. He laughs at your jokes. He sings with you, he watches sweet movies with you. He acknowledges your friends, your colleagues at work. He knows what you're made of. He knows that you are made of steel but deep inside you are sand. He knows something's bothering you even if you tell him you're fine. He knows you are stressed. He knows you need a break, he knows his place. He respects you, your body, your soul, your religion, your principles, and your family. He gives you enough space to grow. He supports you in achieving your goals and would never ask you to stay even if you are meant to go. He owns you, but he never ever would clip your wings. He allows you to fly, he allows you to soar high. He corrects your mistake. He is proud of you. He shows you to his friends. He surprises you with hugs and kisses. He makes you laugh like you have never laughed before. He makes you think of the future. A future with him. He makes you think of success. He makes you warm and fuzzy. He makes your stomach flip whenever you see him even if you have seen him over a hundred times. He looks at you like you are the sun after a heavy rain. He strokes your hair and tells you you're beautiful even if your hair is as messy as a furball. You connect. You yearn for him and he yearns for you. He is concerned for your safety. He never compares you to other women. He thinks that you are unique and he loves your curves along with your flaws. He knows that you have a sweet side and he also knows that you have a grumpy side. He never forgets your special days. He would surprise you even in his own little ways. He acknowledges your efforts and he is thankful. Thankful for you and thankful for what you both have. He loves your love handles. He encourages you to exercise because you are getting fat but he tells you to eat like a man. He flips out when you lose your cool and he puts you back on your feet. He helps you and not add up to your pain. He lessens your burden and not become the burden himself. And after many years, he would never lose interest of you regardless of all the things that you have experienced together, good and bad. He stays. He cares. He loves. He never lies. He is patient. He understands. He trusts. He respects.
He may grow tired some time but he knows that he has chosen you and by you it means all of you and not just pieces of you.
This "he" might have been with you now, or is maybe destined to meet you in the future. This "he" may be just around the corner. This "he" may be in front of you right now.
Look for him. Wait for him. Keep him.
Love comes in its own perfect time. You may lose it but it comes back in a form of a different person. So, open your eyes.
And if you have love right now, keep it. Work for it. Make it stay. Make it last. Make it yours.
